kamijo

I am so impressed that my "SpongeBob Human Style" sketches that I drew of some of the characters from SpongeBob Squarepants as humans can get over 1,000 views in one day! (1,389 views just today) I guess I'm just surprised that it still gets so many hits so many years after I first added it.

It will hit 100,000 really soon! Over 100,000 now! So, thanks everyone! If I had known everyone would like it so much, I would have inked and colored them.
Maybe finishing up and refining the bust sketches is still something I could do sometime.

My grandparent dog Jewel (who was really our dog, too -- we would see her almost every day) had been not well for about a month, we thought she was just having some arthritis pain and we were giving her some pain medication that seemed to be helping. Just the month before she got a CLEAN bill of heath! She was romping down the stairs just last week…I can't keep doing this, it hasn't even been 5 months since I lost my cat, who I think about and miss every day.

I was out in Spokane with my friend Wes when I called my mom and asked her how Jewel was doing. She said that she thought that she should wait until I was home before she told me how she was – my heart began to pound right then, "What are you talking about? Is she alright??" "No…" "What's wrong?" "She's gone…"

All I could think was think "oh my god – not this." that was that, she had been put down, and although it was the right thing to do, it doesn't stop the hurting, or make it easier. I don't like being that kind of upset in front of my friends, all I could do was apologize for being so upset and look for a bathroom for some tissue.

In the last week she had been tripping over herself – when they took x-rays they said that her neck vertebra was misplaced and she had a problem with her nervous system. My grandpa was going to wait, spend some time with her (she was already sedated a little to relax her) and let her know he was there, but when he saw her and she was whimpering badly he thought that it was not right to keep her there for him just to say goodbye, and he asked them to go ahead and let her go in peace. My grandpa was not raised to watch animals suffer, none of us were – but it kills me to know that she was in pain like that, and that was her end.

Tuffy is still around. Tuffy is her brother, they were littermates and did everything together. He is still looking for her, he is whining & I'm so heartbroken all over again. I wish there were a way I could let him know that she will not be coming back, and I wish so badly she could still be here. I wish there were some way we could know when something like this would happen, it's just traumatic to lose her so fast.
She was always SO happy, she was always so sweet, so playful, and always happy to see you - she was the cutest little Shih Tzu/Pomeranian you'd ever meet! She was almost 13 years old. We loved you Jewel and will miss you so much.


(Jewel as a puppy.)

So this went from an already bad week, to a horrific one. It just doesn't get easier…

I think I’ve got THE ART BLOCK!! *goes and cries in a corner* for a month now, maybe even longer. I have just not been able to produce one drawing worthwhile. A few doodles here and there, but nothing complete.

( I do have a picture to post May 1st for , but I drew that around a month ago and have been saving it - _{Though I kind of feel even that drawing isn't even good enough...})

I haven’t been able to draw anything that I’ve thought up. It’s not that haven’t felt like drawing, it’s that when I sit down I can’t seem to get anything in my head out. Then I also feel like I’ve run out of cute ideas. There is so much I’d like to draw, and when you feel like you can’t draw it’s one of the worst feelings.

Drawing is what I do for fun, and anymore it's just frustrating. Drawing and seeing my characters/thing I like drawn out really can cheer me up, without that I am just left feeling down.

I just hate admitting I am experiencing an art-block, too, because I see so many talented young artists that draw so much good art, and I feel that if I admit I have art-block, then I must just not be talented enough to draw whatever I want, whenever I want. It is an awful feeling. I hope to get out of it soon. I wish I had some inspiration; I’m starting to feel like a failure!

I hope May is a more promising month for more than just art, because April has been such a letdown for me.